I struggle with the words to describe this retrospective, on this first day of January, 2021. It would seem appropriate to bury the past year, to put it in the ground.
I spent much of 2020 in deep pain. The first few months was spent trying to recover from a broken heart, until my father passed and grief took the podium position. A lot of my plans were cancelled with the pandemic. Most of the year I was severely depressed, albeit not experiencing the worst this illness has heaped on my shoulders, it has nevertheless been a heavy burden. This is all broad, but at least a summary of the most significant hardships of my year.
So – bury it. Grab a shovel and dump the rotten year where it belongs. Right?
I spent much of 2020 as part of something greater than myself. Whether it be as part of the political campaigns I pledged most of my free time towards, or all the film projects I worked on. As much as I struggled with all of the aforementioned ills, my places in these collective wholes gave me purpose, company, meaning.
At the beginning of the year I felt close to two or three people. With all the irony of “social distancing”, in 2020 I made more close acquaintances and friends than probably the entirety of my life prior. For all these people, I feel so humbled and honoured to know, each one of you all is unique, talented, powerful, and important to me.
After six years at university, I’ve graduated with a degree. The long, difficult path to this accomplishment finally reached its end. For a while I wasn’t sure I’d make it here.
With all of that, it’s hard to put 2020 to bed so unceremoniously. The year was, perhaps, the most significant in my life so far, and that’s not to be buried.
So, this accursed year cannot be forgotten. Let’s put a marker here, so we may acknowledge it for every year to come, and look back at it from further along our paths.
Let’s not forget you 2020, you awful, wonderful, heart-breaking, desperately human year.
Bring on 2021.
Featured image is of my cat, Tess, because she was the light of my year (every year).